he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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