it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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