she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
