I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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