This girl is more easily done than said...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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