the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
