I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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