YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
