Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
