You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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