apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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