I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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