I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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