Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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