you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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