You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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