NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
