Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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