Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
