Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
