Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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