my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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