its not stalking. its research.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
