I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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