Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
