The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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