Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
