hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
