Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
