sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
