Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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