She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
