So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
