He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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