I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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