I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
