I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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