Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
