Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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