Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
