I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
