ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
