great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
