I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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