I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
