he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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