did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
