I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
