I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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