i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
